Its my strong belief that every neighborhood has a crazy couple that yells and screams at each other and lets the whole world know about it. We have such a couple down the street. When they are outdoors they are usually berating each other about the most ridiculous things in my opinion. They really work each other up and sound like sqwuaking chickens. My son has received the respect of our neighbors as he yelled at them the other day and told them they were an embarrassing display of marriage. And it shut them up....for a while to everyone's astonishment. But one thing the wife yelled out at the top of her lungs toward her brow beaten husband that caught my ear and imagination was... " What was I thinking when I married you..WHAT WAS I THINKING !!!!!!?? " I laughed at first and started to ponder her rhetorical query.
There are times as an artist when I have asked myself the same question . What was I thinking when I decided to make art a career? I mean...everyone imaginable has the same idea don't they? Look at the competition you fool?
There is one key ingredient that is so important that even those artists ,with the most nominal of skills , who have it will become successful. And it is Confidence.
For starters...How does one gain Confidence? Success . How do I become successful at Art? Become Competent! How do I attain competence?...And that is where our search and query becomes interesting as we all have travelled on different paths and we all have found ways of becoming successful at SOMETHING. From the first days when we were complimented on a drawing or painting something inside of us stirred and resonated. The next step was usually training at School and then from there onto the Big Bad Ol World to compete and conquer...or at least to survive. Along the way we were either shattered or were rewarded with success. In either case our Confidence in our abilities were tested.
Consider the baseball player who has graduated to the big leagues. When he gets up to bat , he is surrounded by new faces and places but the game itself is the same. He learns to adjust to his new environment and gets set to hit a 90 mph plus fastball. There are times when the pressure of performing gets inside the head of a ballplayer and the ball, which at one time seemed the size of a watermellon, now appears the size of a speeding quark. He strikes out..then again and again and soon he falls into a batters slump. He starts to question himself and his abilities. In fact, others take notice and some say he is even finished...washed up. He spirals into the game of overthinking his at bat . He no longer is having Fun and getting up to the plate becomes a living nightmare. Will he ever get his swing back? He reconsiders his batting stance and weight of bat..all aspects of his game, which came so natural for him not so long ago, are now up for recalibration. He has now officially lost his Mojo...his mental JUJU ........will he ever get it back or did he ever really have it?
The same thing can happen in this crazy art business, especially in the world of blogging where we now are exposed to so much world class talent and achievement. It is so easy to get thrown off our game and get mentally distracted. It is also extremely hard not to compare yourself to other artists and the successes they have achieved at such an early age. I mean...is it right and natural for some of us to struggle while for others it seems effortless?
My old art teacher taught me a mantra every time I left his studio ( I also heard his voice even while I was an atheist ) for home. He said.. Have Faith in God and Confidence in your abilities. With the skills that you are acquiring, he said, if you continue to grow in your art powers and learn and apply the principles that i Am teaching you...you WILL be Successful...and you Must be confident of this truth that perfect practice makes for good Art.
So, my friends, the end game is not a boastful arrogant shallow confidence. But a sure footed knowledge that the skills that you are acquiring will serve you well and that you will become successful if you remain determined and perservere and run the race.
So Run...Run the Good Race Well!
Posts
Lovely post. Through annuals and sourcebooks, I have followed many of "the best of the best" since long before the advent of the internet; so my confidence has always fluctuated from zero to about 2 on a scale of 1-10. Add to that divided, multiple interests, some unexpected responsibilities of motherhood, a crisis of faith in my ability and purpose--and plain laziness and lack of discipline--and your post inspires many thoughts and touches many feelings.
ReplyDeleteHey Frank what a wonderful post and one truly heartfelt by all who truggle with not only their art ego, but their own ego themselves.
ReplyDeleteThank for what you said. . .it's one of those posts I'd be surprised if I didn't remember for a very long time.
By the witness of your strong faith now I would never have guessed that you were an atheist at one time. That is a story I'd find interesting.
Okay it's off to bed for me. . .long day, but your post made it end well.
PURE INSPIRATION! I have got the message!!!
ReplyDeleteWow, those are wonderful words to read. As someone new to to the art field I must agree that it is easy to get discouraged. I look at guys like Casey Baugh who is a couple years younger than me and already a masterful painter and think, hmmm, maybe I am too late. Maybe my late start is a recipe for failure. But somehow that also motivates me to buck convention and succeed anyway.
ReplyDeleteOne other thing I think that motivates me personally is obedience. I ran away from what God was calling me to do for a lot of years, but now I am very serious and committed to it. So on days when I don't feel like practicing to build my competence, I remember that this is what I was made to do. Whether it remains nothing but an act of worship to God, or becomes professional career, I know that I need to continue pursuing it.
God meant for me to stop and read the entirety of this post today (as I follow many blogs I sometimes only have time to look at your beautiful images). Though I thought when I graduated from art school I would have a job offer to be able to pay those student loans off...my husband and I find that we're always provided for with exactly what we needed. And God is bringing freelance work to me even with a slightly bruised ego from not getting the "dream job" right out of school. We must keep trusting and obeying in His revelation. ;) Thanks for putting such lovely effort and thoughtfulness into your blog for the rest of us.
ReplyDeleteI'm just hoping I can separate confidence from being grandiose.
ReplyDeleteI've seen confidence turn into omnipotence. I seem to have this naggin little voice in my head. Hopefully, it's a moral compose.
Although I agree that confidence is a major trait in pursuing art as a career. Believing in yourself does seem to be paramount.
Confidence has always been a big obstacle for me. When growing up, my parents never differentiated between confidence and self-conceit. I learned that confidence was a bad thing. Later I had teachers who had much to offer, but were not skilled teachers (teaching is a talent all in itself), and whatever confidence I had secretly gathered was shattered by them.
ReplyDeleteFor a long time I was haunted by the quote, "Those who can be discouraged, should be.' I felt washed up before I began. I guess I still do.
The big change that came into my life was realizing that I was fighting with a side of myself that I could not escape. I wanted to be an artist, and no matter how discouraged I felt, that was a constant. Whether that defining painting came early in life or late in life no longer mattered; I just had to keep painting.
I still don't have confidence in me or my work. Perhaps if I did, I would paint faster. I do know that if I keep chipping away, I can do something decent. Patience and a willingness to work hard have come in handy when the confidence wasn't there. Persistence has won out.
I have learned several things which have gotten me past the insecurities which so often paralyzed me earlier though. 1). There are no mistakes. Everything can be repainted or corrected. To notice the problem areas in your own painting is a good thing; it means your eye is becoming more objective, and you know where to make your improvements, 2). The first stroke is the hardest, but once you start painting, it is so easy to fall into the zone of working. 3). There seems to be room for everyone.
So have I ever asked myself, "What was I thinking?" Every day (which of course means, every day I go back to it).
Thanks for the great post, Frank.
"What was I thinking?" - "Why Do I Paint?"
ReplyDeleteConfidence. It usually reveals a strong stride and a self-assured gait to be sure. Knowing that God has given you the gifts that you house is the fire underneath your confidence. Isn't that what lead David into battle to slay the giant?
What I learned from David's story is that his confidence was also tested. "Commit everything unto the Lord and you will succeed". He must have been overly confident that God would ignore his decision to kill Bathsheba's husband - and forgot to commit that idea to God. "What was he thinking?!"
The area of Confidence is an area, I know, that I struggle with, too. I wrestle with God's plan versus my own. What I deem to be successful - over what God does.
What makes me confident in my art is answering the question "Why do I paint?". For me, this question came years ago to me as a final for a graduation painting seminar. It forced me to give a presentation to my peers with my answer and resolve to the question. This has solidified my reason for making art ever since. It also has given me the confidence beyond myself. I paint to co-create with God. It is a prayer to Him in the studio. It is an exciting, new creation, language and intimacy with the Creator that offers up a perpendicular awkwardness, at times. But, knowing that He is there with me, every time, is enough. He gives me the confidence and understanding that I can do nothing without Him.
Why am I teaching elementary students and not hanging in the galleries in NYC? God only knows. He has His reasons. This - I am confident of.
Great prompt Frank!
Great post, Frank.
ReplyDeleteEvery painting, even every sketch, is an act of courage. We have to overcome the doubter and the critic. But that self-critic is a good person to have in our heads because it's the only way to make our work better. I take comfort in knowing that Sargent wiped off 20 or 30 perfectly good portraits before he satisfied that critic.
I think overconfidence can be as much a problem as lack of confidence. Artists are told too often that anything they do is just great, when really they should maintain that perspective that there's still much farther to reach.
What helps me is to have faith and confidence in the process, not so much in my abilities. No matter what, if I follow all the steps, I know I can get to the goal.