Emile Friant
Last week I happened upon a post on Facebook by a friend of mine that his beautiful 20 year old daughter was tragically killed in an auto accident. This accident claimed the life of 3 souls and the driver is in a coma. I was completely devastated. I had known his daughter Celeste since she was small and since I am a father of 2 boys the news of her untimely death hit me really hard. As a family, we had been praying for my friend Kirk and his wife Shari the whole week and although they live in Palm Springs, they still considered Santa Rosa their " home" and the Memorial Service for their daughter was held there. Many friends from distant regions arrived to give their respects to the family. We drove down to Santa Rosa over the weekend for the Memorial Service.
It struck me that artists through the centuries have depicted the loss of a loved one. Some paintings are so overcome with mourning that the painter captures the feeling of hopelessness. Egon Scheile comes to mind.
Other artists paint death as if it is a opera stage with noble pageantry and the mourners are actors repeating the lines over and over again as if detached from reality.
Some paintings are stoic affairs and show us an insight into the spiritual culture of those left behind. They are also reminders of how we look at death and the rituals set upon a society to cope with the loss of a loved one.
There are paintings of Death where the artists tell us more about themselves and their preoccupation with sorrow. Edvard Munch comes to mind.
Then again, we all deal with death in our own way. The funeral is definitely performed for the living. We want to have our friends and loved ones around to share in the grief and give support and comfort if it is only with our presence and a hug. Words fall dismally short .
My mentor Norma decided against a funeral. I somehow felt cheated out of paying my final respects and sharing my grief and praise of this great lady. But it was her desire not to have one and I respect her wish.
Of course if you have been on this Blog awhile you know that I am a believer and that I believe That we will see our loved ones again in Christ. It is a small comfort at the present time for those dealing with death but the words of faith gently remind us that we live in a fallen world and tradgedy befalls us all. No one escapes. We have a blessed Hope.
I have always been struck by the account of Jesus and that he wept upon hearing the news that his friend Lazarus had died. The passage is the shortest in the Bible, It simply says " Jesus Wept" . I am moved more by that simple action and I feel even at a funeral when someone expresses his memory of the departed and displays visible emotion that it shows a submission to real empathy and loss. Death is cruel. I don't buy the stiff upper lip crap. Do you feel the same way?
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Death reminds us how small and powerless we really are, and all we can offer each other is kindness, and the support that they are not alone in their awful time. This grace can be demonstrated in a hug, or in washing their dishes for them. My best wishes to your friend and his family.
ReplyDeleteFrank, I was so moved by your post and would like to offer you and your friends my most sincerest condolences at this tragic and difficult time. I too am a believer and rely on my faith to get me through times of my life. I recently lost my father (November 09) and although we were not close as father and daughter as much as we might have been it was still a very sad and difficult time. Life is very short, and it seems so shorter and even harder when a young person is so suddenly called away. I hope you all find comfort in the days and months ahead.
ReplyDeleteMy very best to you
April Jarocka
Beautifiul collection of images Frank. Mourning and funerals are different all over the world, but they are found in all cultures I can think of.
ReplyDeleteWhy, because we need to recognize that a person meant something to us, it's a reminder that they were significant and impactful while in the flesh. That their spirit touched our spirit in a special way, otherwise we remember only dust to dust.
Glory to the King of Life and Death.
Stiff upper lip? It depends. My mother has written her own service. When the time comes, she will have the last word, and it will not be a mournful one. But she is 86. We lost my father and BIL at significantly younger ages. Dad was my age exactly. From that, I know that the sharpest grief subsides, scars remain. But for a child, I'm not sure. I came close enough to know it would be much, MUCH more difficult, maybe impossible, to ever fully recover. Can't even think about it, really.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for the shock and grief you feel.
To lose a child, is something you never really get over - you just learn to live "around" it. It is always there, just below the surface. But God knows how much it hurts, after all his Son died at a young age too.
ReplyDeleteMy most sincerest condolences to your friends and you. I can't even imagine the pain.
ReplyDeleteFrank, my sincere sympathy. To your family and the family of your friend.
ReplyDeleteWords do little to comfort at a time like this.
Yet I pray for comfort to come.
Our though is in your thought, Frank Que en paz descanse.
ReplyDeleteIt is always a heavy reminder when death occurs of the presense of our fragile state. We mourn and we mourn with those who mourn. There will come a day when death loses its' power.
ReplyDeleteJesus heals a girl and they say she was sleeping.
Jesus raises Lazarus and they most likely said, "What good is that? He's just going to die again."
Jesus rises out of the grave conquering the power of death altogether. He shares His victory with anyone who believes.
I am sorry for your loss Frank.
Judy,
ReplyDeleteThank You. I felt more pain just looking at my friends faces. Kirk is one of the most positive people I know and he was reeling like Job. But standing on the Rock.
April,
ReplyDeleteThank You for sharing the loss of your father.
I asked my friend Kirk... " Is your Faith shaken "? He looked me in the eye and said : Not one bit . I know I live in a fallen world of Death and Disease " . Frankly, we live in a state of Grace.
dWilson,
ReplyDeleteGive those precious children of yours and extra hug dWilson. Your sentiments are spot on and the relationship is missed... the touch and feel and smell. How many people keep objects around or have their memories rekindled when smelling an object that reminds us of our loved ones?
Connie,
ReplyDeleteIt just so happens that I have 2 friends that lost their babies to SIDS ( sudden Infant Death Syndrome ). Both were solid Christian women with ministries. One is now homeless and was totally shaken from the tragedy. The other has carried on and adopted a child who is now an adolescent.
Both women were shells of their former selves the first year. The grief was so deep that no one could really talk with either women. Why one would lose her faith and become a drug addict and leave and abandon her 2 living children and husband only she can explain.
The other eventually healed and I talked and saw her in the Fall and she has recovered and shares the joy of her adopted girl.
Mary,
ReplyDeleteYour sentiments ring truth.
James,
ReplyDeleteI can't even fathom all the memories that will remind him of his beautiful Celeste. Both parents will heal in time.
Bill,
ReplyDeleteThank You. Keep Kirk and Shari in prayer.
Gilberto,
ReplyDeleteSi ... en paz
Gregory,
ReplyDeleteI agree. I think you are also a good writer!!
My condolence to your friends .
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear of this tragic loss, Frank, and your sorrow. Thank you for sharing once again the hope we have in Christ.
ReplyDelete