The Gift of " Letting Go" a very hard post .....

 Something arrived in my email the other day that had me go deep in thought on a subject that is difficult for most people. Okay Frank.... What's so difficult about moving on and forgiving someone? Obviously I make light of a hard subject. But the idea of giving gifts is in the air this Christmas ( not afraid to say Christmas on this Blog ) Season.

 But I need to back up a bit to frame this topic. As I talked to Jana this morning , I was getting a bit embarrassed about all the gifts we , as a family , have given each other this year. Jana comes from the tradition of the Main Gift, then the secondary gift, and then the practical gift ( socks and underwear ) and then the stocking stuffer. I thought this was going to end when our kids were teenagers but old habits are hard to break.

 We will have all of Jana's side of the family ( 4 sisters total ) over as well as extended members of each those sisters. Our relatives are experiencing the The Great Recession just like many other Americans across this country. One family member told us that things are so bad that there would not be Christmas gifts for their children. Jana and I just looked at each other and started to empathize with the conditions many family members are experiencing. Heck, we've been there too. But so far, the Gallery is doing well for me ( although not as well for other artists in the Gallery and I feel bad about that too! ) . Kids make it difficult because they can't help bragging. It's in their nature.... " What did you get?  I got ..... this .... and that ..... and that too.

I come from a family where 1 gift was usually enough and there was always a slight behavior condition attached  ( that naughty or nice thing ). I remember a particularly meager Christmas where we went over my cousins house and we all unwrapped our gifts at Midnight Christmas Eve. Or rather we watched them unwrap gifts that they had given each other. What struck me was the love that they all had for each other. I was so jealous. We were not a happy family and Christmas always brought up many bad memories and arguments.

 Its taken me years to run new tapes in my brain and many Happy Christmas moments with Jana and our little family have made Christmas Time a very positive thing. Just the idea of " GIVING" and not receiving has made all the difference in the world.

 So now my real story begins. How would I give a special gift to someone who really needed it in ways that were not your routine " go to Macy's and get a nice wrapped gift thing". I mean... anyone could do that. But how about giving something really important like saying ... " I was wrong about that ... can you forgive me? Or how about .... That was many years ago and we were young and foolish and can we just move on and be friends?

 FaceBook has really changed the way the world communicates. In an instant we can see and read the thoughts of friends known and unknown. One of FB's interesting features is how you can recommend a friend. Mostly its a friend of a friend and I confirm ... except for this old girlfriend of mine who keeps wanting to be friends with the line...Is this the Frank Ordaz that I once knew and loved? .... I mean ... that sounds like trouble! I'm not talking about you Hillary ( if you happen to read this ).

 But this time I was forwarded a name from the past that had much baggage. Many years ago I was a church elder and was involved in a church controversy. It came down to a big meeting with members on one side and one man representing their views and members on the other side and me representing another view. Needless to say it was ugly and the member on the other side and I had not spoken since. But as I was given his name to suggest as a friend ... I thought about it for a time. Should I ask to be friends or just hold on to the past.? I decided to move on and sent the Friend request.

 He emailed me back and wondered why I wanted to be friends as we had not spoken for years? I wrote him the following....

  Yes many years... I can hardly remember those times as it has been so many years. I prefer to move on. I hold no ill will towards you and if there is any residue, which appears to be the case, I hope you can forgive me for my brashness and arrogance. The years have softened my personality.

I was pleased that he too decided to move on and that we are now FB friends. I know it's not much but it feels like a minor miracle. A couple of years ago I wrote 2 ex - friends and also expressed the need to move on. However, they decided that in one case how I thought politically was more important than the friendship and in the other case ..... well it was politics again. They both could not move on from politics.


So this Christmas Season .... we here at ON BEING FRANK  wish you a meaningful and wonderful Christmas. May you give a gift from the heart. May it bless those who receive it. May what comes out of our hearts be Blessings and not Cursings. May we have the courage to say I was wrong and be gracious and take the teachings of Jesus and really make them live in our walk. Maybe  giving a painting can open the door to conversation where the possible can happen. This is the season of a Miracle ..... give what can happen!

Merriest Christmas to all!